Creating Boundaries. The Scariest and Bravest Thing I've Done

I've been seeing my therapists regularly this year. She has talked me through breakups, anxiety, and days when I can not seem to get my thoughts clearly processed. I have spent many afternoons on a couch gazing in confusion (often at the ceiling). Therapy is common among millennials, which is an affect of the 47% increase in depression among adults 23-38. A therapist typically gives homework and coping skills to address what was discussed in each session. My homework assignments have been challenging because they force me to face uncomfortable realities.

My assignments and personal development went well until I was introduced to the practice of "Creating Boundaries". It is quite phenomenal. To create a boundary means establishing yes' and no's for behaviors, people, and actions. Mostly there will be more establishing no's to anything does not aid or benefit ones mental health. See the below image for the steps on defining a boundary from healthline.com.

I found the hardest people to create boundaries with were my family and friends.I found that I had the most unhealthy boundaries with the close people in my life. In compassion, I see that the boundary I created went against a function I occupied in their lives.

We all have functions in the lives of our friends and family. Whether we are the one who is called in the event of tragedy, prayer, financial crisis, or even just a laugh. We have a function even if we do not like it. Unfortunately, those functions often become truly invasive.

Our emotional well-being is a space that we create for ourselves. It is a shelter. If we allow ourselves to break down the fences or ignore e boundaries around the shelter that we've created for ourselves, it looks like an invasion.

When I was told that I needed to create boundaries, I was confused. I learned how to create those boundaries now. Beginning with open communication. My first boundary Has been to not mix business with friendships. Was it received well? Not at all. I realize that it is my right to define what a healthy relationship looks like.